Everyone Poops
January 29, 2013 in Diet, Energy Balls, Fiber, Food and Recipes, Nutrition by Samantha
Growing up, I was one of those people who felt that the act of pooping was a big secret. Poop? Me? No way. Never. Not me.
Really, though, I had lots of tummy issues growing up. I’ll go ahead and assume it was the McDonald’s, Chinese food, Swiss Cake Rolls, et cetera. Pooping was not a pleasant experience, if and when it even happened.
I had friends who never hesitated to announce their hardships with having to poop at school (because as open as you can be about needing to poop does not always mean you can comfortably do it in a stall in a bathroom with five other people around), but I kept my mouth shut.
Now that I’m older and completely comfortable with who I am and the natural order of every human’s existence, I’m cool with the poop discussion. I wanted to address this topic because not everyone feels comfortable discussing his or her bowel movements. Don’t worry, readers, this is safe place. We’re all adults.
Your daily diet plays an enormous role in your ability to poop. Fiber intake is extremely important, as we all know. You can get fiber through eating vegetables (broccoli, carrots, eggplant, etc.), legumes (“beans, beans, they’re good for your heart…”), whole grains, and other fresh, whole foods. Or, you can be like my boyfriend, and get your fiber from gummy supplements! He needs extra help in the tummy department.
Basically, in an ideal world, we would all poop once a day. Not everyone is so blessed. If not everyday, you should be striving towards most days per week. If you’re not achieving that, then you may need to assess your daily diet and determine where you are lacking in fiber and how you can remedy that situation.
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RECIPE! I found this recipe online and have since found it with slight variations and different names: “Protein Poppers”, “Fiber Treats”, or as I like to call them, “Energy Balls”. I don’t even know why.
This is how I make them with my own twist. These require no baking or cooking of any kind. It’s a bit messy, but they are DELISH.
NOTE: As delicious as they are, don’t eat too many. They have fiber. Have too many and you could be at risk for shitting yourself.
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INGREDIENTS:
1 cup dry oatmeal
1/3 cup coconut flakes
½ cup nut butter (I generally mix organic almond butter with organic peanut butter – NOT THAT JIF SHIT)
1/3 cup ground flaxseed
1/3 cup raw honey
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
You may add ½ cup of: chocolate chips, dried cranberries, raisins, chopped almonds, etc.)
1. Mix everything together. This is a struggle. This is a bit of a workout in itself. I recommend using a wooden spoon, however, I usually get impatient and throw my hands in there. Be prepared for flaxseed under your nails!
***PRO-TIP: I added dark chocolate chips to my mixture, but in previous batches, I found that the chips were too big so I whipped out the SLAP CHOP. I’ve never felt so brilliant in my life. Chop those fools down so they blend easily and make your balls chocolaty throughout (yeah, I just said that).
2. Chill the mixture in the fridge for about an hour. Chilling the mixture makes it easier to roll them into balls. Trust me – I’ve tried making them into balls before chilling them (i.e. this time). It doesn’t work too well.
3. Roll into balls! I keep mine in the fridge for storage.
Let me know if y’all try this recipe! Remember – everything in moderation. Until next week, Fitties!








This is amazing. I have absolutely no problems talking about poop. In fact, here’s my story: I used to have major problems with my bowel movements. Every so often, things would get so backed up that I’d find myself on the toilet, riddled with pain, trying to force a grapefruit out of my butt. Then I switched to a plant-based, high fiber diet and I never have that problem. In fact, I am ridiculously regular! I enjoy a peaceful, pain and anxiety free movement every morning around 7:30am. It wakes me up gently every morning, and then it passes quietly, and sometimes I even go back to bed afterwards. I’ve read that humans used to get upwards of 60 grams of fiber a day; nowadays, I think the average is around 10. I typically get 45 to 60, entirely from whole plant foods, and it’s solved a lot of problems for me.
Matt, you make it sound like an angel gently taps your shoulder in your sleep, takes you by the hand, leads you to the throne, smiles sweetly, and leads you back to bed. Sounds magical.
Sounds like you’re living the dream!
That’s exactly what happens, Sam!
I have no idea what you’re talking about. Golden fairies with gossamer wings come in the night and take my poop away.
THAT’S WHAT JAMIE LAWRENCE USED TO SAY.
The gossamer wings part too?
I don’t know about gossamer wings, but fairies were definitely involved in the removal of lady poop.
also i fixed your image
I image searched a really large version and used that as featured.
THANK YOU!!!
Oh wow, Jamie Lawrence… I have not heard that name in YEARS.
I know, right?!? I stalk his Facebook from time-to-time, and even that hasn’t been updated in at LEAST two years.
Blast from the past…
amazing that !!! I loved !!!
Hahaha, thank you.
loved it!
loved it! Haha such a truth
Thanks!
Mmmmm… I can’t wait to eat your chocolate balls.
LOL <3
I just really wanted to type that. Balls is one of those words that makes me want to giggle like a twelve year old.
However, those look awesome. I love balls.
Hahahahaha.
Balls.
Balls, indeed.
Balls.